https://samphetamine.uk Samphetamine® Tue, 13 Sep 2022 14:17:07 +0000 https://samphetamine.uk en https://samphetamine.uk/FAQ-1 Mon, 25 Oct 2021 18:56:15 +0000 Samphetamine® https://samphetamine.uk/FAQ-1 Click on the questions below to reveal answers... Is Samphetamine® a genuine pharmaceutical product? ︎︎︎ Samphetamine® is not a pharmaceutical product in the traditional sense. Rather than a set of pills for oral consumption, it is a collection of written works and original illustrations bound into a book for your visual consumption. Writing the work has certainly had a profoundly cathartic impact on the author, so perhaps reading the work will induce a similar effect on you. Who is Samphetamine® manufactured by? ︎︎︎ Samphetamine® is manufactured in the brain of Sam Bird, a young theatre writer and director currently living in Bristol, United Kingdom. He regularly develops such works and brings them to life as performance pieces with other like-minded individuals. The book and packaging design of Samphetamine® is courtesy of Tom Bird and the illustrations are by Gabriel Carr. Can I actually buy Samphetamine®? ︎︎︎ Indeed, you can. A limited run of 100 boxes of Samphetamine® are available in our online shop for a very humble price of £20 per box. If you experience any issues at checkout, please email ineedsamphetamine@gmail.com and we will be glad to assist you. Are there real health benefits to Samphetamine®? ︎︎︎ Writing has typically provided the author with temporary relief from depression, anxiety and general existential dread, and the works within Samphetamine® are no different. His performance pieces have also been known to provide effective relief to the myriad psychological ailments of a paying audience. Is Samphetamine® a prescription based medication? ︎︎︎ No, just one box of Samphetamine® should do the trick. However there will be periodic new releases of Samphetamine®, whenever Sam Bird develops something he feels is worthy of market release. Theatre, however, can be treated much like a prescription and we would encourage you to go as often as possible. Can I get Samphetamine® via the NHS? ︎︎︎ Not at this time unfortunately, however our team are working around-the-clock in lobbying His Majesty’s Government to table a motion whereby Samphetamine® – or any other acceptable level of support for the UK’s growing mental health crisis – can be readily available and affordable to all. https://samphetamine.uk/shop Wed, 07 Sep 2022 18:54:39 +0000 Samphetamine® https://samphetamine.uk/shop <img width="2002" height="1539" width_o="2002" height_o="1539" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/5285a5116c916ea64507be62b47b505f0f2546fc55f7b727e75bd222fc0568e3/scan_1.png" data-mid="152336113" border="0" data-scale="75" data-no-zoom src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/5285a5116c916ea64507be62b47b505f0f2546fc55f7b727e75bd222fc0568e3/scan_1.png" /> <img width="3249" height="1280" width_o="3249" height_o="1280" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/f0a69d2000e415168aec0b98c6b0486f0d5da550bae4e5c399107c0693384e61/scan_4.png" data-mid="152336116" border="0" data-scale="85" data-no-zoom src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/f0a69d2000e415168aec0b98c6b0486f0d5da550bae4e5c399107c0693384e61/scan_4.png" /> <img width="2365" height="1537" width_o="2365" height_o="1537" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/21903d3a8844adb6a7f8e789c7dcd86213943587e0ae7443af81e86230cb1391/scan_2.png" data-mid="152336114" border="0" data-scale="80" data-no-zoom src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/21903d3a8844adb6a7f8e789c7dcd86213943587e0ae7443af81e86230cb1391/scan_2.png" /> <img width="1988" height="498" width_o="1988" height_o="498" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/20ac460085d095ad5a8ad70486da2d7d9ce2bfb5c15be3ba3b02b459b513a990/scan_3.png" data-mid="152336115" border="0" data-scale="85" data-no-zoom src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/20ac460085d095ad5a8ad70486da2d7d9ce2bfb5c15be3ba3b02b459b513a990/scan_3.png" /> <img width="2959" height="1541" width_o="2959" height_o="1541" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/b8a42cd9536d7286620709a500374c92f7d1fd1aea6e220ed7444ebc07dcba55/scan_5.png" data-mid="152336117" border="0" data-scale="90" data-no-zoom src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/b8a42cd9536d7286620709a500374c92f7d1fd1aea6e220ed7444ebc07dcba55/scan_5.png" /> <img width="3004" height="2152" width_o="3004" height_o="2152" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/1253ee636d1ad49ad054fc23465bda34bb1369e4ce0bab33e9a98d1deeff3646/shop_book_inner_1.jpg" data-mid="152511579" border="0" data-scale="90" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/1253ee636d1ad49ad054fc23465bda34bb1369e4ce0bab33e9a98d1deeff3646/shop_book_inner_1.jpg" /> <img width="3004" height="2152" width_o="3004" height_o="2152" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/b146aeeea238f808911e183836cea8977f5a269370a72b7f714bc1d5eb9ddfaf/shop_book_inner_2.jpg" data-mid="152511580" border="0" data-scale="90" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/b146aeeea238f808911e183836cea8977f5a269370a72b7f714bc1d5eb9ddfaf/shop_book_inner_2.jpg" /> <img width="3004" height="2152" width_o="3004" height_o="2152" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/9d2f355ebf36fced84127b5c0931e9baca00eb395e0079a6ad1068f2298f81a5/shop_book_inner_3.jpg" data-mid="152511581" border="0" data-scale="90" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/9d2f355ebf36fced84127b5c0931e9baca00eb395e0079a6ad1068f2298f81a5/shop_book_inner_3.jpg" /> <img width="3004" height="2152" width_o="3004" height_o="2152" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/ea6774e307ca844aca2c7ae2d6f1c5aeebe47ca16c6e691b3f88bce9344dc07b/shop_book_inner_4.jpg" data-mid="152511582" border="0" data-scale="90" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/ea6774e307ca844aca2c7ae2d6f1c5aeebe47ca16c6e691b3f88bce9344dc07b/shop_book_inner_4.jpg" /> <img width="3004" height="2152" width_o="3004" height_o="2152" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/50ad19483aae39a759659d8e40f1d2980eb098fae068d031244824d0d3360bdc/shop_book_inner_5.jpg" data-mid="152511583" border="0" data-scale="90" src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/50ad19483aae39a759659d8e40f1d2980eb098fae068d031244824d0d3360bdc/shop_book_inner_5.jpg" /> 188 pagesedition of 100 15cm x 11cm x 2cm unique pharmaceutical book jacket £20.00 per boxfree shipping to UK, £5 shipping to EU︎︎︎ Home&nbsp; &nbsp;|&nbsp; Frequently Asked Questions&nbsp;︎︎︎ https://samphetamine.uk/Title Thu, 21 Oct 2021 09:37:20 +0000 Samphetamine® https://samphetamine.uk/Title A PERSON SITS AT ADESK AND TALKS WRITTEN &amp; PERFORMED:2018 CAST OF CHARACTERS:~ Person STAGE DESIGN: The audience enters a barren room that contains only a desk, at which a person is sitting. A projector displays scattered clips of video, ranging from things as ordinary as a cup of tea cooling, to something extraordinary like a woman giving birth. The projection overlays the actor, who is blindfolded and whose hands are bound with barbed wire. In front of them sits a microphone on a stand, from which the person begins to share a series of stories. https://samphetamine.uk/Text Thu, 21 Oct 2021 09:43:14 +0000 Samphetamine® https://samphetamine.uk/Text ** The following passage of text is a only a short excerpt. Please purchase a box of Samphetamine to read the full playscript. ** PERSON:&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;I sometimes…wonder…I look…back…think back…what was life like…what was grief…like. Was it…more personal…or perhaps lonelier? My word. Such loneliness. Such…deception in times of quiet… Perhaps human behaviour has changed…because of the world of screens we live in. I’m sure George Orwell is sitting somewhere saying, “I fucking said so”. “Yes, Mister Orwell” – the public says – “But could you keep it down? Love Island is on you see”. Perhaps…perhaps I’m being a tad overdramatic. But don’t you think it takes a certain amount of theatricality to grab people’s attention? At least nowadays perhaps. What with Facebook and the news. <img width="2871" height="2074" width_o="2871" height_o="2074" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/52d3f4171368d7140825f2b0467472f3db9501cba946f3e67aca22548add48bb/orwell-textwrap.png" data-mid="122213374" border="0" data-no-zoom src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/52d3f4171368d7140825f2b0467472f3db9501cba946f3e67aca22548add48bb/orwell-textwrap.png" /> Sorry. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;I’d hate to start off by boring you. Not because I have some compulsive need for attention that most likely stems from some unmet childhood need for acknowledgement. Nor does it stem from a need to shock strangers to a level that borders on the sociopathic. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;And whether you believe I’m being authentic or not is rather irrelevant, when you consider the big scheme of things. As in comparison of the entirety of the universe to an insect. Or the entire history of existence, both future, past and present to this very moment. &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;This very moment, in which we are both experiencing for the first time and remembering at the same time. This very moment in which we have decided to spend together as an act of living, whilst simultaneously hurtling towards to the inevitable oblivion of the unknown ‘afterlife’. A concept which I find logically hilarious and yet philosophically unsettling, not because of the ramifications presented by many organised cults, cults not religions as they’re all the same fucking thing, in which I am inevitably condemned to fiery judgement for swearing or not fucking my cousin or whatever the fuck they go on about these days. But because of the concept of an eternity in which my consciousness is doomed to…well…complain about the situation. [PAUSE] I’M SURE GEORGE ORWELL IS SAT SOMEWHERE SAYING, “I FUCKING SAID SO!” Sorry. I’m sure this must all be very…alienating. I’m sure many of you are used to a certain…format of performance. I’ll make you a deal. When the performance is finished, I’ll say ‘the end’. That’s your signal to clap or cry or storm out in indignant rage. However, in return I have one request. Don’t…don’t anaesthetise yourself to this. Just this once. Don’t view this through the eyes of a theatre audience. Just…be present. Be here, with me, right now.&nbsp; Notice everything. The texture of the walls. What you can smell. What you can hear. Be… Present.[PAUSE] Perhaps...I should back up a bit? To…the beginning. Even that one word sends my fractured thoughts reeling. Ricocheting off the walls like the unheard prayers of the masses in decayed buildings that were erected in honour of a glorified imaginary friend. You may be asking ‘Why are we here?’, as in why are we listening to this rambling recitation of nonsense. ‘Why are we here?’ oh Christ none of us are drunk or stoned enough for that conversation, let’s move on. To be perfectly frank. I don’t know. I don’t know why you’re here. I don’t know why I’m here. Again, to clarify, I mean within this room, within this social construct we call ‘theatre’ in which you the ‘audience’ observe me the ‘performer’ in some arbitrary act. Not the existential question of ‘why are we here?’ Perhaps to give some shape to the proceedings of this ‘performance’, I should give you some insight into the kind of thought process I go through every day. I’ll go into a coffee chain whose name is so deeply embedded in our collective consciousness that it’s one step away from being defined in the dictionary as ‘a place one goes to autofellate ones’ sense of self under the guise of custom’. I see a veritable sea of, insert designer brand here, children drinking their hideously overpriced coffee of which the farmers will still see only a miniscule share of. Marketed as fair trade to preserve the illusion of the moralist consumer. They do this while vomiting contemporary jargon into their hideously overpriced pieces of plastic of which the assembly line workers will still only see a miniscule share. Faces illuminated in the same way the inhabitants of Chernobyl looked on towards the developing mushroom cloud. <img width="2632" height="3043" width_o="2632" height_o="3043" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/d8bc4a6c43954ed54d803a4f5e9f4857e04c0bcb8ee8d50aca2d7835d81cc7a0/latte-textwrap.png" data-mid="122214401" border="0" data-scale="85" data-no-zoom src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/d8bc4a6c43954ed54d803a4f5e9f4857e04c0bcb8ee8d50aca2d7835d81cc7a0/latte-textwrap.png" /> But please don’t for one second think I’m speaking from atop my moral soapbox. Oh no. I couldn’t haven’t thought up a sentence of this without my low-fat low-sodium gluten and dairy free organic all natural colours coffee, which milk was sourced from a free-range cow that was masturbated hourly to ensure that your drink would taste of absolute satisfaction as to cut out the middle man coming down your throat with gold flaked jizz. <img width="2649" height="2170" width_o="2649" height_o="2170" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/f2f3d901ae12d8bb83585d34b45b9252aed6e58baf0d9af166a2693125568702/cow-textwrap.png" data-mid="122214679" border="0" data-scale="54" data-no-zoom src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/f2f3d901ae12d8bb83585d34b45b9252aed6e58baf0d9af166a2693125568702/cow-textwrap.png" /> A car screeches loudly as it slams into my inoffensive colourless genderless significant other. Catching under a wheel they are severed into two equal pieces that satisfy the OCD of the crowd looking on in silent horror with unhinged jaws in unison as they mutually masturbate about what they’ll tell their court ordered therapist. Black sludge spills out of my significant others equally split torso. Scorching the road and bubbling with self-entitled obscenities about free parking, compensation and the X-Factor. Now you may be asking how I could know such visual detail of this wreckage. Well if you’ve been paying attention then you’ve probably guessed... I pushed them. I blink and it turns to night. There’s screaming and laughing echoing in the street, and yet it’s deserted. Turning a corner, I see an endless gaping maw, gurning and drooling as a generation voluntarily poisons itself. Playing hopscotch for the pavement tiles not covered in vomit. I stumble through a crowd of banshees whose once pristine makeup now resembles a damp Salvador Dali painting, the paint now dripping down the canvas into a puddle of self-deprecation. Making it through the bulk of the horde I find the trail of carnage left behind. Bodies scattered along the road, crying and shoving unidentifiable meat in their jaws. https://samphetamine.uk/Footer Fri, 27 May 2022 14:42:00 +0000 Samphetamine® https://samphetamine.uk/Footer ︎︎︎HOME BUY ︎︎︎ https://samphetamine.uk/Title-1 Sat, 28 May 2022 11:09:02 +0000 Samphetamine® https://samphetamine.uk/Title-1 KALEIDOSCOPE WRITTEN &amp; PERFORMED:2020 CAST OF CHARACTERS:~ Shane~ Jack~ Grace~ Someone STAGE DESIGN: A typical flat that houses typical flat-sharing types; students for example. Efforts have been made to make the place more ‘homey’, but there remains an aura of transience. Academic and general detritus litter the space. https://samphetamine.uk/Text-1 Sat, 28 May 2022 11:09:19 +0000 Samphetamine® https://samphetamine.uk/Text-1 ** The following passage of text is a only a short excerpt. Please purchase a box of Samphetamine to read the full playscript. ** SOMEONE:&nbsp; Good evening ladies and gentleman. Thank you for joining us today. Before we begin, I thought it would be best to have a preliminary discussion with you about the shows content and the topics involved, like a precautionary disclaimer of sorts. Before we begin I’d like to throw out a question, open up the room a bit. Would you slit the throats of 1000 babies? [pause] No honestly, I’m asking. Would you take a 1000 babies and cut their throats? Feel free to answer. [pause] Okay. Easy answer right? Don’t worry, you’re not about to sit through an hour of being convinced that infanticide isn’t all that bad. So y’know, sit back, relax, bask in the comfort of moral absolutism. [pause] Now, same question, but a different situation. Would you slit the throats of 1000 babies, if it would result in the survival of 1001 babies? So to clarify, either option you’re killing babies. So y’know, make peace with that fact. Now umm...not really looking for a definitive answer there. Just let it roll around your brain for a bit. Getting your minds into that ‘zone’. The moral conflict zone, not the...baby killing zone.’ Another scenario! A man walks into a bar with an automatic firearm, he proceeds to shoot every single person, there are no survivors. This is a senseless tragedy and the man is a monster. Now, imagine the bar was filled with a terrorist organisation who were planning to murder a bus of children. The same man, is now a hero (assuming the person observing is both disgusted by said terrorists and believes in a vague philosophy of capital punishment). Morality, and other examples of absolutism suddenly find themselves somewhat compromised when processed through the machine of Theatre. This is my personal belief. Do not misunderstand, or assume, that my considerations do not suffer from the same bias as any other opinion; a concept to keep in mind when reflecting on the following examinations. The common analogy for close inspection of a subject is to ‘put it under the microscope’. Unfortunately I don’t think that is actually the best approach in this case. Instead...view this through a...kaleidoscope. A kaleidoscope is described as a constantly changing pattern or sequence of elements. I feel this is an appropriate metaphor for this project, as the majority of the time you start to think you have a certain grasp on something...only for it to change slightly and throw your whole understanding into question. *** JACK:&nbsp; Tea? GRACE:&nbsp; Fruit? JACK:&nbsp; Tetley. GRACE:&nbsp; Please. [pause] JACK:&nbsp; Biscuit? GRACE:&nbsp; Chocolate? JACK:&nbsp; Digestive. GRACE:&nbsp; Regular? JACK:&nbsp; Yeah. GRACE: No thanks. [pause] (SHANE enters) SHANE:&nbsp; Tea? JACK:&nbsp; Want one? SHANE:&nbsp; Earl Grey? JACK:&nbsp; Tetley. SHANE:&nbsp; Go on then. [pause] JACK:&nbsp; Biscuit? (SHANE pulls out a bag of crisps.) SHANE:&nbsp; Crisps. JACK:&nbsp; Cheeky. SHANE:&nbsp; Comfort food. [laughter, pause] GRACE:&nbsp; Why is everyone so…nihilistic nowadays? JACK:&nbsp; It’s those damn phones. SHANE:&nbsp; Or violent video games. GRACE:&nbsp; No seriously. Don’t you find it a bit odd? Like... okay, for example, when internet humour started…it was random shit. JACK:&nbsp; I can haz cheeseburger? SHANE:&nbsp; BADGER BADGER BADGER! GRACE:&nbsp; But now it’s like…the punchline is always ‘lol wish I was dead’. JACK:&nbsp; It’s a generational thing. GRACE:&nbsp; You think? JACK:&nbsp; Yeah. Different…um…different social…factors…effect things like pop culture. SHANE:&nbsp; Not to mention humour is a common way for people to deal with pretty upsetting situations. GRACE:&nbsp; So you think people are sad because the world is kinda shit? JACK:&nbsp; Pretty much. I mean…our childhoods were kind of filled lots of bad shit happening. Where as the generation before us had a chance to make things better. They had hope, aspirations, a chance to make a difference. GRACE:&nbsp; And what do we have? SHANE:&nbsp; Netflix, reality tv and scratch cards. (A nuclear bomb detonates outside. Bright flash.) <img width="2154" height="4000" width_o="2154" height_o="4000" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/4e6524a88dfa3939b86cc5e71d1b6c888a58b5b031d1b4ee17420bff697e4f57/unkept.jpg" data-mid="143897923" border="0" data-no-zoom src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/4e6524a88dfa3939b86cc5e71d1b6c888a58b5b031d1b4ee17420bff697e4f57/unkept.jpg" /> JACK: They seem to be doing alright upstairs... SHANE: That’s because all they’ve been eating are anti-depressants. <img width="2239" height="2112" width_o="2239" height_o="2112" data-src="https://freight.cargo.site/t/original/i/36c9e1b495b4430a8f902530b50f6e8df1f9a17b3795ec7423ec91e2b05cdd17/antidepressents.png" data-mid="143897976" border="0" data-scale="70" data-no-zoom src="https://freight.cargo.site/w/1000/i/36c9e1b495b4430a8f902530b50f6e8df1f9a17b3795ec7423ec91e2b05cdd17/antidepressents.png" /> SHANE:&nbsp; Does anyone have a cigarette? JACK:&nbsp; I have a vape pen. GRACE:&nbsp; Ew. No one vapes anymore. SHANE:&nbsp; Not since all those hipsters got cancer. (pause) GRACE:&nbsp; Oh shit. JACK:&nbsp; What? GRACE:&nbsp; Cancer. JACK:&nbsp; What about it? GRACE:&nbsp; We never cured it. JACK:&nbsp; I was on a liberal arts degree… GRACE:&nbsp; I don’t mean us us. I mean, like, in general. It was never cured. SHANE:&nbsp; That’s depressing. GRACE:&nbsp; All that time, and it never amounted to anything. SHANE:&nbsp; All those fun runs and charity events. GRACE:&nbsp; No one saved. JACK:&nbsp; Well there was chemotherapy. SHANE:&nbsp; That was more luck than a cure. JACK:&nbsp; I suppose. GRACE:&nbsp; Well you know pharmaceutical companies would do anything to delay a cure. JACK:&nbsp; Yes, yes, here we go. Capitalism is the cause of all problems. GRACE:&nbsp; Oh come on, I’m hardly saying that. JACK:&nbsp; (Salutes) Of course not comrade! (Salutes) GRACE:&nbsp; Well then… In true soviet style… (GRACE goes to a cupboard and pulls out a bottle of Vodka and some glasses.) GRACE:&nbsp; Let’s have a drink. I could use a bit of chemical altering right now. (Weary laughter. Fade to black) https://samphetamine.uk/Footer-7 Tue, 13 Sep 2022 14:17:07 +0000 Samphetamine® https://samphetamine.uk/Footer-7 ︎︎︎HOME BUY ︎︎︎ https://samphetamine.uk/Title-4 Thu, 16 Jun 2022 10:07:45 +0000 Samphetamine® https://samphetamine.uk/Title-4 CHANGELING 2020 https://samphetamine.uk/Poem Tue, 31 May 2022 22:44:48 +0000 Samphetamine® https://samphetamine.uk/Poem You know mum I think there was a time When I walked out the door And never came back Not really I haven’t come home in years Was there a time I wonder A particular moment When you realised I was not myself That the mimic sitting across from you Smiled an empty smile And chatted pleasant nonsense In the fireplace You should have thrown me Strewn dads trousers over my crib To avoid the changeling placed there A screaming abyss in the home you made