~ A  (a man of an age)

~ B  (a man of an age)
~ C  (a man of an age)
~ LADY  (a woman of an age)
STAGE DESIGN: A dingy flat in an apartment block. The gaudy wallpaper peeling and decayed. The carpet is filthy. It smells of damp. In the corner a TV is switched on, but only static shows. Two men are sat at a table wearing nonspecific prison jumpsuits and cutting vouchers from newspapers. B’s head and wrists are wrapped in bloody bandages.

** The following passage of text is a only a short excerpt. Please purchase a box of Samphetamine to read the full playscript. **

A:    All I’m saying is, rise above the petty back-and-forth.

B:     The tit for tat.

A:     Precisely. The schoolyard antics.

B:     The hype.

A:     Precisely. The scaremongering.

B:     Scare tactics.

A:     Precisely. It’s beneath us all. The short of it is, we’ve never been stronger.

B:     Never stronger.

A:     Trust. That’s what it’s about. Trust in it and it will reward that trust.

(Knock at the door)

A:     Ah! About time!

[A goes to the door and lets C in. He is dressed similarly and drags a partially decomposed dog behind him]

AC:     Well hello!

AC:     How are you?

AC:     Well you look fantastic!

AC:     Haircut?

AC:     Oh stop!   [laughs]

A:     Come in!

C:     Why thank you.

CB:     Well hello!

CB:     How are you?

CB:     Well you look fantastic!

CB:     Haircut?

CB:     Oh stop!   [laughs]

A:     Where is D?

C:     In the lift.

A:     Well why doesn’t he get out of the lift?

C:     He can’t.

A:     Ahhh. Agoraphobic.

C:     No.

A:     Ahhh anxiety.

C:     No.

A:     Ahhh philosophical crisis.

C:     No. It’s broken.

A:     Ahhh.
Why doesn’t he call for help?

C:     He has.

A:     Pushed the button?

C:     Indeed.

A:     When?

C:     Two days ago.

A:     Ahh shouldn’t be long then.

B:     To business? It’s almost that time.


A:     I remembered the other day!

B:     You did?

C:     I had a remembering too!

A:     A remembering?

C:     A remember?

B:      Memory?

[AC scream, pause]

B:     So…you remembered?

C:     WAIT!

[C runs to a cabinet and pulls out a prescription bag which contains a bottle of pills and puts them on the table. They all join hands, A and C close their eyes and let their heads fall back, B remains open eyed. A moment of stillness. Outside a siren blares, reminiscent of an air raid warning.]

ABC:     Hand in hand we must forget.

Forget our past mistakes and march ever forward.

We put our faith in our leaders.  For they love us as we must love them.

For they trust us, as we must trust them. Let us be protected.

From those that seek to destroy us…and from ourselves.

Hand in hand we choose to forget.

So that we may find peace. Blessed be the leaders, who burden themselves.

So that we may be relieved of our sins. Though we may forget, we remain thankful.

[The siren ends]

Why doesn’t he get out of the lift?


Ahhh. Agoraphobic.


Ahhh anxiety.


Ahhh philosophical crisis.


C:     Do you remember all the tension when this place was first built?

A:     ‘More social housing! No tower blocks!’

C:     [laughs]  Yes that’s the one!

A:     Madness.

C:     No, no. Just ignorant. There’s nowhere left to go on the ground, so the next step is…


CA:     FOR QUEEN AND COUNTRY!  [laughs]

A:     How lucky we are.

C:     Indeed.


A:     Although I do wish the lift was fixed.

C:     It will be fixed. It always gets fixed in the end.

A:     Of course. I’m just being silly. There is a system in place. And the lift always gets fixed.

C:     All things have their time. Even the lift.

A:     There are things in place. Trust.

C:     Exactly. Be patient.

[The lift ‘dings’ and opens as it reaches their floor]

A:     And there it is! Be a dear and fetch D would you?

[C exits, after a moment C returns with a skeleton. This is D]

C:    Bit worse for wear I’m afraid!

A:     Oh D. You’ve never been very good at time management have you?

[C sits the skeleton in a chair as if he were sitting reading a paper, or drinking a cup of tea in the way one does when visiting friends or family]

C:     You know, I heard D associates with scroungers.

A:     Good lord! D is that true?


C:     I’m sorry D but we require you to clearly speak the words.

A:     Otherwise it doesn’t count.

C:     Not admissible as it were.

[D says nothing. Obviously.]

A:     Scroungers. Good lord.

C:     They’ll be the end of us!

A:     Exactly. We have a place to live. We have food.  Even a television!

C:     Didn’t you inherit all of that?

A:     Indeed! It’s not hard at all. Bloody scroungers.

C:    Dossers.

A:     Wasters.

C:     Spongers.

A:     Squatters.

C:     Parasites!

A:     Terrorists!   [weeps]

C:     Time is a great healer…

[A continues to weep. Lost]


[A doesn’t respond. C grabs the bottle of pills and pours some into his hand. He forces A to swallow them. A’s weeps turn into laughter]